Identity Crisis

The warning signs were there. I only blame myself (and Ian too - because it's fun to blame Ian and it makes me feel better). I let - even encouraged! him. I bought the costumes, cheered when he defeated bad guys and even called him Spiderman. So I am not totally shocked that Max thinks he is Spiderman. Not kidding.

Those of you who know him, know that Max has been working on and perfecting his Spidey "moves" for months, even years (see Spider-Max post). All of my kids have went through the dress-up as a super hero phase so that's just what I thought this was - a phase. So NOT a phase.

He is not Spiderman all of the time. Sometimes he is the Phantom of the Opera (complete with mask and cape), sometimes he is Batman, sometimes he is a super hero of his own creation (my personal fav) and sometimes he is Max. But his first choice is always Spidey.

When Max is Spiderman you must address him as such. You may also call him Peter Parker if his mask is not on, but NEVER (I cannot stress this enough) call him Max. Unless you have a death wish. As Spiderman he will pose, climb walls (by scooching around on the floor), fight bad guys, spin webs and set traps. Today at the water park at the zoo he happened to be wearing his Spiderman swim trunks. Therefore he was Spiderman and everyone else was an evil villian. He had some great moves (and luckily no one got injured).

I'm really starting to worry - does he actually think he is Spiderman? I think he does. Is it bad of me to encourage him? To let him wear his costume to the supermarket? To ask him to show people his "moves"?

Next time you see him, you be the judge.

Alexander Turns 10

We were pretty low key this year for Alexander's birthday. I let him invite a few friends over for dodgeball, swimming (at grandmas), pizza & doughnuts (the kid hates cake). It was one of the best and easiest parties. It was an awesome group of boys. Alexander had a great day!

First of all, you can see the shadow of the ball about to hit me. Also - check out Ben's face :0

Dodgeball

Everyone runs after Ian.

Pool time.

Opening presents.

And yes, I am about to pick my nose.

Thank you Kim! because I think I only took about 5 pictures. Luckily you took 150 :)!

Who's the Boss?

I've been having some parenting issues lately. So much so that I had a mini breakdown yesterday at church. A friend told me that her family has been going to a therapist. The therapist gave them 3 rules for their kids to follow:

1. Listen the first time
2. No shouting
3. No arguing

Say you ask your child to clean their room. You wait 5 seconds and if there is no response you hold up 2 fingers. That means they have 2 choices - either clean their room or lose a priviledge. If they are younger their choices are clean or go to time out. The priviledges should be decided ahead of time. The trick for me will be the "no arguing" - it's hard not to respond when my kids are goading me into a fight.

We're going to try this over here - I'm trying to be pro-active and not re-active.

A thousand words

Here are some random pictures I have been meaning to post. I also need to post pictures from Alexander's birthday party but don't hold your breath.

Bribery

Bribery works. I don't care what Super Nanny says. She doesn't have a defiant 4-year old who can withstand even the most skilled manipulation techniques or a screeching one year old. Plus my mom says it's o.k. and we all know that my mom's word=law.

I am currently reading the Percy Jackson and the Olympians books. Highly entertaining, btw. My kids' book fair didn't have the first book and I wanted to buy it so Alexander and Ben could read it. So I made a trip to Target. Of course we had to go to the toy aisle. Max, as usual, admired the Star Wars and Spiderman action figures. And then we saw it. We've never seen it before - half black, half blue & red Spiderman. I'm not going to lie folks - he was AWESOME! Max begged and pleaded. So we cut a deal - he keeps his room clean for a week, doesn't say the word "IDIOT!" for a week and goes to bed on his own for a week and he can have the toy. I know that's alot of things, but the kid already has 5 Spidermans - so it had to be a big sacrifice on his part.

Ian freaked out. "WE ALREADY HAVE A MILLION SPIDERMANS! AREN'T WE TRYING TO SAVE MONEY? blah, blah, blah...

I tell Ian I'll take it back but then I sic Max on him. Because I know the secret to Ian's heart - it's a 4 year old boy with big blue eyes and a dimple. And the cutest voice ever. It totally worked. Ian agreed to the terms and the Spiderman went on top of the fridge.

We are now into day 3 and everything is peachy. The room is clean. He is going to bed by himself! He did say "IDIOT!" once, but I gave him another chance because everyone knows it's hard to break bad habits. And let me just say that he has been more pleasant these last few days - like a different kid. Bribery works.

Even on a little tyke like Evan. Since he was about 8 months old, Evan has been doing the pterydactyl scream. It was cute the first few times. Now it is annoying, embarrasing and I really believe that one of these days every piece of glass in the vacinty will shatter as he screams. It's that bad.

The other day I had to go to JoAnn Fabrics to get some stuff for girl's camp (I was in charge of an activity that night). After being in there for 2 minutes the screaming begins. Then Evan starts flinging his shoes off. And throws the keys that I had given him to shut him up. Then chucks my cell phone at Max's head. If it wasn't happening to me it might be comical, because frankly I was getting my butt kicked by my one year old. And then out of the corner of my eye...tootsie pops! By the check out counter! I wasn't even ready to check out, but I purchased them and shoved one in Evan's screaming mouth. Instant silence. I was able to get the rest of my shopping done in peace and quiet.

I guess the moral of my story is that I will do whatever it takes. No matter the price (which may be hundreds of dollars in dental bills & therapy) but I am that desperate.

Ouch!

Yesterday I had to leave Ben's game early, but apparently I missed all the action. When I got home last night Ben was laying on the couch with an ice pak over his eye. Ian said that a grounder popped up in Ben's face and he took it straight in the eye. Ben was surprisingly calm for a kid who can't stand the sight of blood. Once he was screaming that his knee was bleeding and he needed a bandaid. When Ian went over to investigate he found that Ben was not bleeding - he just had a piece of red thread stuck to his knee. Luckily this time there was no blood - just a swollen eye. He was excited to go to school today and freak all his friends out. Boys!

On a side note: The boy who hit the offending ball's dad is a scout for the D-Backs. He gave Ian his phone number and promised us tickets if we called.

*Note the ring of chocolate around Ben's mouth - apparently he and Max found Ian's oreo stash this morning.

Digital Girl

I love e-mail. I know, I am so 21st century. I like it because instead of having an hour conversation with someone, I can type 2 sentences and get to the point. Some people complain that e-mail is impersonal. And that's o.k. by me. I don't need to talk to you and get personal. I just want to get business done in the shortest time possible.

O.k. here's the truth. My phone skills suck. Really. And the less I know you the more inept I am. Because if I know you, you know that I have no phone skills and won't get offended when I abruptly end our conversation. Or maybe you'll get offended but you'll get over it if you still want to be friends.

Cell phones are the worst. I find myself constantly interrupting people and then they are breaking up and I can't hear them any way. Most of the time I hate talking on my cell phone.

I have recently become a fan of text messaging. It's just like e-mail - but better because 99% of people always have their cell phone and I usually get a reply much quicker. It's great for on-going jokes. Ian and I do it all the time (tell on-going jokes that is). Although I am incredibly slow at texting. You should see my nephew J. If there was a competition, he would totally win. Ian is pretty good but now he speaks his texts which is more hilarious than you can imagine. Whenever he is speaking a text in front of me I break into uncontrollable giggles which causes him to mess up and the phone guesses the wrong words. For some reason whenever he starts with his robot voice I can't help myself - it sounds so stupid.

I do like talking on the phone to a select few. But most of the time I dread making phone calls. It's always nice if my kids are nearby because then I can pinch one of them when I want to get off the phone. "Oh no! I have to go - Evan just started screaming!" Works like a charm every time.

Torture

It was the lure of cylinder shaped cheese that motivated me to take all four kids by myself to Costco on Saturday. The cheese and the thought of a cheap lunch. It was hell on earth. My first mistake was not feeding the troops first. This led to incessant whining and shoving and pushing toward every sample in sight. My big beef with Costco samples is the sample people there are kinda mean. They roll their eyes and act exasperated everytime a kid wants a sample -times that by 4 when you are me. I try to hold most of the kids back with a promise of soda and churros. It never works with Alexander. He loves every delicious concoction that is served. So I just let him go ahead of me and pretend that he is not my kid.

Max and Ben were in fine form. Lots of arguing, pushing, running off - you know, things that you see and wonder "Where is their parent?" I tried to ignore them and act like they weren't mine but "MOM!" and the running after me ruined that. Times that by wall to wall people who will stop their cart in the middle of the aisle just for fun and you get one irritated momma.

As I am in line for food I see Max pull down his pants to expose his underwear to half of the free world. Apparently Ben was teasing him and was yelling that Max doesn't wear underwear. Of course Max had to prove him wrong. Then Max got super embarrassed because multiple people were cracking up at him. Which led to anger and more fighting.

Evan was as usual, the best one. Even when he was screaming for my drink. I would like to say that I will never put myself through that again, but my memory is not what it was. Note to self: Costco on Saturday with kids=torture. And don't even ask where Ian was. I don't even want to go there.

You're My Satellite

Dear Ian,

Today is a milestone for us. 12 years! I know you will say it feels like 20, but sometimes it feels like yesterday that we were hiking hole in the rock and sitting underneath the railroad tracks. I still remember the first time you used your Harrison Ford voice. I think I laughed so hard that I almost peed my pants.

I am lucky to have someone that reads directions. Because otherwise our kids would be riding on defective bikes. Which would mean lots more visits to the ER. I love that you don't let me take life (or myself) too seriously. I like it when you let me be right and when you stick up for me. Even when I don't need sticking up for.

I love the father that you are. How you motivate Alexander to do better, how you make Ben giggle so hard his stomach hurts (he totally gets your sense of humor), how you will drop everything to wrestle Max and how Evan loves you just as much as me.

I love that we have more in common than just our kids. I love that you always want to hang with me. And that we like the same music, books, t.v. shows & movies. That you always are interested in what I have to say...no matter how dumb or incoherent I may sound. And that you will kill bugs, clean the bathrooms and take out the trash because you know I hate to do that stuff.

Alright, sometimes you exasperate the hell out of me. Sometimes I get so frustrated I want to punch you in the head. But I can never stay mad at you too long - it's too much fun being friends. You are my Bleeker and I love you more each year. Happy Anniversary!

Happy

This month has been a doozy. Sometimes I have felt like the happiness is being sucked right out of me. I have been stressed out, nervous, sad, upset, lonely. It's been one thing after another (whoever said bad things come in threes should have said bad things come in dozens). And it sucks. But today I am happy. And here is why:

1. Beautiful weather
2. An unexpected surprise in the mail
3. Making a new friend
4. Connecting with an old friend
5. Chocolate from Switzerland (thank-you, Brian)
6. Stake conference on Sunday! (meaning - no regular church and shorter church!)
7. Ice-cream
8. My back does not hurt and I am not nauseous
9. The Office
10. Juno

#1 Son

Dear Alexander,

It is amazing to me to think that 10 years ago today you were born. You were my first, so everything didn't go as smoothly as it could've, but you have taught me to be patient, understanding and to be a good listener. Even at an early age you loved for me to read to you. Your favorite book was "Brown Bear, Brown Bear". At the age of 1 1/2 you could recite the book "Oliver and the Monsters" from memory and you knew all the verses to "I am a Child of God".

One of my favorite memories of you was when you were 3 or 4 and we were at the park. You wanted so bad to be able to climb the monkey bars by yourself - you would stretch your little arms as high as they would go but to no avail. I looked over and saw you kneeling beneath the bars. At first I thought you had fallen so I ran over and asked what was wrong. You said you were praying that you could reach the bars.

We have always had a special bond - like there is a secret only the two of us know. Whenever I need to run an errand you always want to come and I look forward to the conversations we have. You are and have always been inquisitive - you must know WHY! You are sensitive (like me), get stressed out easily (again, like me) but luckily you have your dad's coordination and sense of humor. Yesterday you gave me a hug and almost knocked me over! I relish your hugs as they are becoming fewer and more farther between.

I look forward to seeing you learn and grow. To watching you excell and to watching you fail. I wonder what you will be, where your choices will lead you and I hope I can guide you in the best way possible. I love you so much and feel honored and blessed to be your mom! Happy Birthday!

Dirty

Ian - this is why I don't like to water. I forgot my flash was off - I hope you all can get the full effect of his filthiness.

Insomniac

You know your baby is tired when he lays down on the dirty office floor. For some reason Evan has been waking up in the middle of the night and then he does not want to go back to sleep. My theory is teeth but it's getting old. Just when I get used to getting some solid sleep, he starts the cycle again. Saturday night he woke up at 2:15 am and finally went back to sleep at 4:45 am. It basically goes like this: I hear Evan start to fuss. I get up and give him his binky then I go back to sleep. 10 minutes later there is a bum on my face. I hold him, give him binky and put him back to bed...and so it continues. Then I inevitably start obsessing about things and I am wide awake, my mind is churning. Which is o.k. because Evan is awake too.

Yesterday I attempted put him down for a nap. When I went back in to check on him I couldn't find him anywhere. I kept searching and calling his name. Finally I see 2 tiny feet poking out of our bathroom cupboard. I keep calling his name - finally he pops out of the cupboard and screams, "Boo!" and starts to giggle uncontrollably. Seriously, it was about the cutest thing ever.

P.S. In sad news, Evan slammed Max's thumb in the door last night. It's a doozy. I'm beginning to think Max might be accident prone

Teeth Tale

You gotta love that smile - and his new silver tooth!

This week hasn't been all that great and it all came to a head yesterday. Max had to go to the dentist to get A LOT of cavities filled and his front teeth fixed. He broke said teeth almost 2 years ago when he fell climbing some stairs and almost bit his tongue in half (I do have a picture but it's quite graphic). The dentist made the comment that Max seems cavity prone. I'm thinking he looked at my face and saw dollar signs and was trying to butter me up. No way is it all the candy he eats - wouldn't you know he's cavity prone!

Anyhow, Max and I headed bright and early to the dentist. They made him drink some sort of medicine (I am well informed when it comes to my child's well being) which made him loopy and drowsy and great entertainment. When he held my hand tightly as they led him to the exam room - I realized he was scared. I had of course discussed what would happen with him, but obviously it's still a scary experience. They let me stay in the room with him which I wish they didn't. Every time the heart monitor even went up a little I about had a heart attack. After it was over we headed to Target and I bought him a toy. He was at the dentist for 3 hours and was so good! He kept trying to tell me something but his lips were still numb so I couldn't understand him. Turns out he was pissed that there was a Barbie movie on at the dentist's office.

I made the stupid mistake of not eating anything before I left so I spent the rest of the day nauseous. We went to Peter Piper Pizza for lunch and I spent the whole time with my face pressed against the vinyl booth. Stupid b.c. pills. I really hoping my husband surprises me for our anniversary and gets some out patient surgery. Hell might freeze over first.

OCD and American Idol

My name is Sheri and I have selective OCD. For instance I am not obsessive about the cleanliness of my house but am obsessive about celebrities. Britney better not get back with K-Fed! It's about time Beyonce & Jay-Z got hitched - 6 years - c'mon. I don't think Heath really had a love child. I'm sure Nicole Ritchie has an eating disorder - ditto with Kate Bosworth. I hope Reese & Jake last - she deserves some happiness. After I had Evan the part of my brain that remembered school lunches, fieldtrip forms and other important things went haywire. But I still can remember the names of Gwenyth's, Madonna's and Bruce & Demi's kids. Sick, I know. I am not OCD when it comes to my children getting filthy playing outside in our dirt yard, yet am OCD about whatever I am currently reading or watching. I have mentioned that I read The Other Boyelyn Girl. This has led to an obsession with English History. The other night the movie Elizabeth was on and I was hooked! During commercials I googled different English monarch names. I'm a nerd, I know...but now I am dying to read something else about that period in history.

I am also a little obsessed with American Idol but am relieved that Ian and my mom share this obsession. We spent Sunday night at my parent's house watching past performances (I am liking David Cook more and more) until Ben begged us to go home so he could go to sleep. AIMS testing. Shoot! If I really dig a performance I will get up and clap and scream. Pathetic I know, but we really don't go to many concerts anymore...atleast I don't. So let's discuss last night's performances:

My pick for the final two

1. David Cook was disappointing tonight. I love Our Lady Peace -but that song wasn't doing him any favors - the first part was just plain awkward.

2. David Archaletta - chills again. He needs to come over and sing me to sleep every night...then maybe I could get rid of this blasted insomnia.

3. Carly - wrong song and just plain blah. Though it does take alot of guts to sing Queen.

4. Brooke - I love that song - especially the Housemartins version but only thought she was o.k. Ian keeps telling me that she just doesn't have the range to compete with the other performers but for me, that's part of her appeal. I like the tone and sound of her voice -kinda bluesy.

5. Michael Johns - I didn't like it. I know Ian will disagree with me - part of it could be that I don't like Aerosmith and I agreed with Simon - he needs to pick bluesier songs.

I don't really have much to say about the other 3. It was the only night I've ever liked Kristy, but I still don't think she'll make it to the final 5.

Hey - did everyone see Lacey from So You Think You Can Dance sitting in the audience behind Simon? Now that's a show I can really obsess about.

Genetics

Clearly this child has Ian's artistic ability and not mine. I don't think any of my other kids were even coloring in the lines at 4.

I hardly ever buy doughnuts. This is for a variety of reasons - the main one being that a dozen doughnuts don't last for more than 24 hours in this house. Imagine my shock when I see the doughnut box with mulitple bites out of multiple doughnuts. Of course I instantly suspect Max. I follow the trail of crumbs and find Evan giggling with chocolate all over his face (the OCD person in me wiped his face before I took the picture). The other boys were not happy. Obviously Evan has inherited my talent for sniffing out and scarfing down any chocolate in the house.

Pictures

The top pictures are at Ben's game. I just realized that I got no pictures of Ben. To my credit, Evan kept me pretty busy.

The bottom pics are of the place we went for Alexander's game. I am kicking myself for not getting a picture of the team by one of the fields.

Baseball, me & Max

Stupid blogger doesn't like me today and won't download any of my pictures. It figures. Anyhow, Friday night Ben had a baseball game. After the game we came home and Evan kept pointing to the garage saying, "Ben!". I would show him Ben but he'd run back to the garage door and say, "Ben!". Finally I let Evan into the garage and he immediately ran to an old baseball helmet we had and put it on. Then he ran inside to Ben to show him. Not only adorable but smart too :)

Saturday Alexander's team played for the first time as the Vandals (his team is playing in a league and as a club team - Vandals is the club team name). The uniforms and logos are AWESOME! The Dorseys generously donated all the boys' bags, backpaks, uniforms (including under armor), hats and batting helmets. The boys looked so cool. Ian was also able to get a hat and that pretty much made his day. They went to play at the Field of Dreams park. I think I overheard someone saying it's a $35 million park - it's huge! And it has an indoor soccer field, a playground, concessions and indoor eating plus batting cages and 8 fields. The big bummer was that Alexander only got to play half of one inning because he injured his hand at practice the day before. He had insisted to me that he was fine and could play but I guess one of the coaches saw that he was in a lot of pain everytime he caught or threw the ball. He was bummed...He was even more mad at me today because they had a game and we didn't go because of it being Sunday. I am not high on his list right now.

Josh tagged me...Here are 6 inconsequential things about me:
1. I wish I wore more jewelry - it can totally make an outfit (Tiffany always looks so put together :)
2. I love cherry dipped cones
3. Sometimes I purposely annoy my husband and kids
4. I don't like killing bugs (especially scorpions) Ian or Xander have to kill them or Ben will catch them and let them go outside
5. I love to read and wish I had the time to be in a book club - I just finished The Other Boelyn Girl - the Bogles were right - scandalous!
6. I like Justin Timberlake (hey - he brought sexy back!)

Oh yeah, something funny about Max. The other night after he had taken his bath Ian wanted to do Max's hair in the faux-hawk again. Anyhow, if you know Max you will know that he doesn't like any "product" in his hair. Ian was chasing him around saying, "Just let me put some gel in and show you my idea!" Finally Max stopped and said, "Dad! I don't like your big ideas! and that's my final answer!".

I'll try and post pictures tomorrow.

About the music

One of the best concerts I've ever been to is Travis and they are one of my all time favorite bands. You'll notice that they do a cover of a Britney Spears song - I believe it's the same song that Marty sang on Rock Star INXS. So sad that I couldn't find "More Than Us" or "Driftwood". Oh well, ENJOY!

Why I hate Fridays

1. I always balance my checkbook on Friday and it never ends up good for me

2. I rush around trying to accomplish everything I couldn't get done during the week but need to get done before the weekend

3. My house always looks the worst on Friday

4. It's my worst day patience-wise. Actually I think most of my patience for the week is used up by Monday morning at 8:03

5. The guilt is the worst on Fridays because I plan on Sunday to do lots of fun things with my kids during the week but then by Friday I realize that we haven't done anything - mostly because of my work and the older boys being in sports

Chocolate & Hair

Why is that when someone says something positive to me I brush it off but when I hear someone has said something mean about me it sticks to me like superglue. I can't get it off. I dwell on it. I wonder what I did to annoy that person. I have a knot in my stomach. It's so lame. So today hasn't been the best day. But I am thankful for an awesome friend who pulled me out of my funk with a cute note and some chocolate.

Here is a picture of Max after he cut his hair. It's hard to see the extent of the damage because Max's hair is dark on top and light on the bottom (for most people it's the opposite) and you can't really tell from this picture but he cut a BIG chunk out of the front of his hair. It was so obvious that when we walked into Snip-Its one of women exclaimed, "Oh no, you didn't!"

Here he is sporting his new faux-hawk. You can't see it too well, but he is so

proud of the faux-hawk. After the haircut I told him that he didn't look like my little boy anymore - he now looked like a big boy. To which he replied, "Yeah, but you gotta love my faux-hawk!" And every 2 minutes was asking if it had messed up. It was hard convincing him to get in the bath this evening. I must say, it's probably my favorite haircut he has had - he totally rocks it!

Good Feelings

After Ben's game the other night he got in the car and said,"Why do I feel so good?" I smiled and replied, "Hmmm...do you think it's because you hit the ball every time at bat and you made an awesome catch at first?" It is so gratifying for me to see my son's self esteem boosted.

I finally got a new camera today. Yay! No more having to wait to borrow my dad's. Now I can take pictures of the haircut Max gave himself. He finally broke down and admitted the truth only to deny it a few minutes later to my mom. Sheez, what am I going to do with that kid?

I went on a fieldtrip with Alexander's class yesterday. It was lots of fun except for that fact that my son is a maniac. We were in groups and each group had a worksheet to fill out. Alexander views any activity like this as a race and he was determined to come in "first". He would rush ahead of us, accuse other teams of following us to get answers and try to look at the answer key that I had. Not proud moments for me as a mother. We had a long talk yesterday but he was still acting snotty after that. Finally I hugged him and asked, "What's it going to take to get you to change your attitude?" The hug changed everything. After that he was helpful and obedient the rest of the day. Sometimes I get so caught up in everything, that I forget to show my kids how much I love them. Hugs almost always work with Max too. He loves to be squeezed tight - alot of the time I will tell him that I'm squeezing the oneriness right out (he then will pretend to cough it up :) ).

Yesterday my mom had the younger boys while I was on the fieldtrip and Darrel happened to be at my mom's with his kids too. It was hilarious to watch Rowan and Evan interact. They are only 3 months apart and are going to be great friends, I'm sure. They have a bit of a rivalry going on. Each boy wanted what the other boy had. Typical toddler behavior but fun to watch, nonetheless.

As I have mentioned before we are big time American Idol fans here. These are my favorites after last nights performance:

1. Michael Johns (although he needs to stop frowning when he sings)

2. David Archaletta (got chills)

3. David Cook (I'm a BIG fan of the new haircut - he looks much better)

4. Carly (I'm even thinking about buying the song she sang last night)

5. Brooke

I liked Jason Castro o.k. too, but those are my top 5. A.I. is keeping me sane while Lost is off the air.

P.S. For Tricia & Brian:

Brian's Team (a 2 for one!)

My team
Brian's Team

My Team!