Breakthrough

Sometimes I look at this boy and can't believe he's getting so old.  And so big.  When Evan was little he threw a lot of fits - some of my "friends" would talk about it behind my back.  It was hurtful and for a long time I wondered if it was a reflection of me as a parent.  It's so easy to judge someone when you have never gone through that situation yourself.  I wondered for a long time if he'd always throw a fit when he didn't get his way or something made him upset.  Luckily, his fits are now fewer and far between - and usually as a result of him being tired or hungry. 

Evan is a quiet, shy boy with a quirky streak.  He is inquistive, creative and has an awesome sense of humor.  He brings so much happiness and joy to our home.  Last year he started kindergarten and it broke my heart.  I think it was harder on me than him.  He liked school, had friends...but never played with anyone at recess.  His teacher and I both thought of creative ways to try and get him to talk to other kids or play with others.  But he was content just keeping to himself and playing his own games at recess.  He went the whole year never engaging or playing with anyone at recess.

This was hard for me because it again felt like I was failing as a parent.  Maybe I didn't have enough play dates or introduce him to enough kids his age.  He loves his cousins Josh and Rowan (who are his age) but I still worried I did something wrong. 

This year started out the same.  Every day I ask him what he did at recess and every day he'd say, "Play my game by myself".  The other day I told him "Your goal for today is to talk to a friend and play with him at recess."  Evan replied, "Uhhh...not gonna happen"

Yesterday when I got home Evan said, "Ask me what I did at recess today."  So I asked...and he said, "Played with my friend Adam.  We played on the slide and the best part is he sits at my table in class."  It made my day.  Heck it made my week.  And today when I picked him up he told me all about the game him and Adam played at recess today. 

I don't who this Adam is...but I already love him.

First Day

 July 22 was these boys first day of school.  It should've been Xander's first day too but he likes to be different so he didn't actually start until the 25th.  I want to document that I spent the whole week before school started getting the boys ready.  This included buying Ben real shorts.  Like NOT exercise shorts.  Yet here he is on the first day in a pair of old exercise shorts.  Sigh.  I asked Evan how excited he was for the first day and he said "This much" (see picture below)

 And speaking of Evan...how crazy is it that he started 1st grade!  Seriously crazy.  And sad.  All at the same time.  Where does the time go?  Ben started 8th grade and Max is now a 4th grader - which is the top grade at their school.  So Max rules the school :)  His teacher is the same teacher that Ben and Xander had for 4th grade.  At first he wasn't too excited but after being in her class for 2 weeks he is really enjoying her sense of humor.  Max can do and understand sarcasm like nobody's business.

We are already into the 3rd week and all of the boys are doing well (so far).  Evan loves his teacher and likes school (sort of - we still have to drag him out of bed in the morning).  Max likes school and loves playing football with his friends at recess.  Ben and his friend Ian both made the Bogle football team.  Ben loves his social studies teacher, Mr. Daniels and likes being a 8th grader much better than a 7th grader.

As for Xander..he started Chandler High School, his mother's alma mater.  He likes it so far.  What he likes most is going to school with Joe and Michael.  I must say that I like that too.  His favorite classes are choir (which he has with Joe and Michael) and Seminary.  He also likes culinary - I'm hoping this means he will cooks dinner every once in a while.

I'm hopeful that I'm going to be a much better blogger.  Let's get this party started!!!

Guster - Careful (Video)

I'm feelin this

2013

I have neglected this little blog - which is really a journal - because google wants to charge me for putting pictures on it.  Dang that google.  I'm still not sure if I'm going to pay - it's the principal of the thing!- but as I got up early this morning to run - but then didn't run cuz I just wasn't feeling it - I decided to visit this blog instead.  Plus my mom keeps telling me that she's sick of seeing her injured face whenever she goes to my blog.  Two birds, one stone. 

2012 was not the best year.  The first part really sucked and the last part went by too fast.  I am happy and excited for 2013.  To see what it will bring and to start fresh. I was driving home from work yesterday and listening to Mumford and Sons (my current favorite band).  Sometimes when I listen to music I can feel the words in my bones and the beat in my blood.  And I can sit and listen for hours.  Yesterday I sat in my garage listening to this song.

Hopeless Wanderer

You heard my voice
I came out of the woods by choice
The shelter also gave the shade
but in the dark I have no name

So leave that click in my head
And I will remember the words that you said
Left a clouded in mind and a heavy heart
But I was sure we could see a new start

So when your hope's on fire
But you know your desire
Don't hold a glass over the flame
Don't let your heart grow cold
I will call you by name
I will share your road

But hold me fast hold me fast
Cos I'm a hopeless wanderer
Hold me fast hold me fast
Cos I'm a hopeless wanderer

Wrestled long with my youth
We tried so hard to live in the truth
But do not tell me all is fine

When I lose my head I lose my spine
So leave that click in my head
And I will remember the words that you said
You brought me out from the cold
Now how I long how I long to grow old

So when your hope's on fire
But you know your desire
Don't hold a glass over the flame
Don't let your heart grow cold
I will call you by name
I will share your road

But hold me fast hold me fast
Cos I'm a hopeless wanderer
Hold me fast hold me fast
Cos I'm a hopeless wanderer

And I will learn I will learn
To love the skies I'm under
And I will learn I will learn
To love the skies I'm under

So sad

I know my mom will love me for posting this picture. 

In September my mom and dad were in a ranger wreck.  They were so lucky to come away from it without any serious injuries.  2 months later and my mom's swelling on her cheek has still not come all the way down. 

Things like this make me realize that my parent's are not invincible.  And I hate that thought.  I can honestly say that my mom and dad are two of my best friends. 

I am so lucky to have parents who I respect and who love me no matter what. 

Addy gets baptized

 In September Addy got baptized.  Tricia brought her kids down from El Paso for the event. 

 We've missed them so much!

 It took Ruby a little while to warm up.  Molly did her best to make friends.

 Beautiful Addy:

 Afterwards we all went over to Darrel and Trina's for food, family and fun.

 Molly stole the show.  She showed us all of her "cheers".  I guess Emmy and Anna cheer and Molly has learned some of the routines.

 We were all mesmerized. 

I have honestly say I have never laughed so hard.

 She reminded me of Mary Katherine Gallagher on SNL. 

 I love this picture of Emmy and my mom.  I am so thankful for parents who are awesome grandparents.  Plus how cute is Tricia's outfit.  She seriously looked so cute.

We had such a great time spending the day with family.  I love my family so much and am so thankful for each and every one of them.

Random happenings

 September was a great month.  I loved seeing Max and Evan dressed up for NFL day at their school.  Max even let Evan wear one of his jerseys.  I love watching Max be a big brother.

 Evan is such a creative, fun loving kid.  His favorite play mate is his dad.  He makes Ian play war (complete with helmets), store (below Ian is "buying" one of Evan's toys) and every Sunday they have a drawing lesson.  There is nothing more attractive than a man who loves his children.

 Xander is loving high school (contrary to what he might say).  Below he is all dressed up for homecoming.  He is such a smart, funny kid. 

 It's no secret that Ben loves to read and it seems Max has caught the bug.  He LOVES Calvin and Hobbes.  It does my heart good to see it.

 In September Evan's class studied the Rainforest at school.  To end the unit, they went on a rainforest safari.  Evan was able to catch a snake :)  I'm so thankful Kim snapped a picture. 

One of the best parts of being a mom is watching my kids learn and grow. 

Lucky

Max at his preschool graduation

James and Ben at Disneyland 

Those pictures have nothing to do with this post.  They just make me happy so I wanted to share them :).

Working two jobs is wearing me out.  A while ago I was thinking that I had too much spare time on my hands.  Too much time to think.  I had the "inspiration" to get another job.  Inspiration may be defined as "hair-brained idea" in this instance.  I have struggled to make it work.  To spend time with my children and see to their needs.  And to spend time with my husband too (although most nights this involves me dozing on the couch before 10 pm). 

Once again I am thankful for the tender mercies of my Heavenly Father. 

For my mom - who is always there to listen.  Who never criticizes.  And is always up for a Mentalist marathon. 

For Drea - who always calls or texts me when I need it the most.  We always end up laughing our heads off and somehow all of my worries seem less after I talk to her.  She lightens my load. 

For my children - who clean, cook, play...who make my life worth living.

For my sister Kim - who is a second mother to my children and never complains about it. And always asks how she can help me.

For my work peeps - who let me be silly, who never judge and who lift me up. 

And especially for my husband.  He always picks up my slack.  In this past 11 months he has truly became my best friend in the world. 

I don't ever want to take for granted the tender mercies I receive every day. 

I am lucky.