Yesterday

Yesterday Ian had the day off. Mostly so he could go to the dentist (he was long overdue) and meet with an insurance adjuster about water damage in our house. I don't like to do those sorts of meetings because then I get the third degree when Ian gets home. Anyhow, Rowan and Addy came over to play in the morning. Max and Addy played so good at first. They had me cover them in stuffed animals and then they'd break out. I tried to take a picture but then Evan started pulling Addy's hair which caused Addy to wiggle and knock Max down...After a while Max started being a turd (sorry but it's true) and didn't want Addy to play his "game". So I turned on Aladdin for Addy until Darrel got back. Rowan was hilarious. He basically did his own thing and even endured hair pulling and pushing by Evan (we train them early in methods of torture at our house) but didn't seem to mind.

Later on in the day I got the bright idea that since Ian was home we should call up the Ganems and go bowling. I even had coupons. It started with me forgetting Evan's shoes and socks. I know! But in my defense, I did remember Evan (I've only forgotten him once in his whole life - but that's another blog). We get to the bowling alley and it takes FOREVER to get us checked in (in the mean time Ian is frantically trying to calm Evan down as he screaming "BALL!"). We couldn't use our best coupon because it was league night and we only had a limited amount of time to bowl. As it were, we didn't even get to finish bowling one game. Some of the highlights:

*Jason saying he was dying of hunger 5 minutes after we started (this is only funny to those who know Jason - and the fact that Tiffany predicted this right before we came)

*Liam's ball going everywhere but down his lane

*Alexander and Tayler's ATTITUDE. Whatever goes wrong is the parent's fault.

*Evan screaming...then screaming some more. Next time we will get a babysitter

*Who knew that a three year-old (Elliott) was the best bowler out of the bunch of us?

*Max insisting that he should get to keep the bowling shoes

We tried...

Sweet and Tender Hooligan

Friday was Max's 2nd pre-school graduation. He attends the city's pre-school program so he goes in 6 week spurts. There were 6 classes total participating in the program - and Max was seated smack dab in the front row next to another boy in his class. I noticed right away that the boy kept picking at Max and slyly pushing him. Max looked straight ahead - every once in a while he'd glance to the side and whisper something to the boy. I saw it coming...I tried to distract Max with a look...I watched horrified as Max gently put his arm around the boy. "Oh, that's sweet", my mom says as she observes Max's unusual behavior. "No mom, it's one of his signature moves...he puts his arm around and then he'll squeeze his neck.." As I am saying this, sure enough I see Max squeeze the boy's neck. And then I see him push him back. His teacher goes over and talks quietly to both boys.

But it continues. Max keeps doing little things until the boy finally gets up and the teacher moves him to the back row. I'm really embarrassed about Max's behavior - even though my mom and Kim point out that the boy started it. I am really dreading Kindergarten - are there any openings in your class, Tina?

Ewww...

A few uncomfortable things have happened lately and I'd thought I'd share two.

A few weeks ago I was getting ready to get in the shower when Ian starts talking to me. I've been married to this man for almost 12 years so I don't think it's any big deal for me to stand there naked having a conversation. We're talking when all of a sudden I hear "Mooommm" and then the worst thing of all - the sound of my bedroom door opening and footsteps running closer. "EWWWWW...." "GET OUT!" "ARGGGH!" all those noises all at once. Ian chased Alexander out of our room but not before he got a good glimpse, I'm sure. I hear Ian say, "You know the rule! Don't come in our room if the door is closed!" Alexander's horrified reply was, "Do you think I wanted to see that?" Great. Now I've scarred my child for life. While I'm in o.k. shape, I've had 4 kids. I definitely don't want Alexander to think that what he saw is what a woman's body should look like. And then I think he'll probably remember this for years. decades. play it in his mind like a horrifying train wreck caught on tape. in technicolor. EWWWW is right.

Gross situation #2 also involves nudity. Yesterday I am minding my own business, leaving to pick up my kids at school when I notice some of my neighbors are out doing yard work. I also notice that the woman neighbor has a bikini on, or to be exact a bikini top on with a thong on the bottom. Yep. Thong. Now this woman is somewhat attractive, but really - who uses a leaf blower wearing a thong??? And she was out there for hours. When I came back with the kids. Still there. I see Adam, my 18-year old nephew walking down to my parents house - ohhh...goody! He gets to see the harlot doing yard work too! Then as I am leaving to take Alexander to baseball practice I see her bend over to pick something up. HAS SHE NO SHAME? Come on, there has to be some sort of rule about indecent exposure...if you do have it, please don't flaunt it - at least not in my neighborhood.

I'm sure you will all understand and be grateful as to why there are no pictures with this post.

Something(s)

Evan destroyed Max's dream catcher. Max. did. not. take. it. well. I don't think I will elaborate because then you all will think I'm the worst parent ever or that Max is a demon child.

Alexander had a scrimmage game Tuesday and hit the ball into the outfield. In the car on the way home he said, "Mom, there's no better feeling in the world than hitting the ball."

Ian says it's o.k. for Jim Sturgess to be my boyfriend as long as Kate Beckinsale can be his girlfriend. I'm o.k. with that.

I don't know what it is but I have a serious weakness for a boy who can sing. Past obsessions: Ewan McGregor in Moulin Rouge (mmm....), Patrick Wilson in Phantom of the Opera, Gerard Butler in Phantom and P.S. I Love You and now Jim. I think we'll be dating for a while because when I looked on his website last night (because that's what any good stalker would do) I saw that he has quite a few movies coming out this year. Love you Jim! See you soon!

Evan says the cutest things...he yells "MAX" whenever I do and has started to sing when he wants to go to sleep (we always sing to him). He has the face of an angel and the disposition of the Tasmanian Devil. Really. Come and observe the path of destruction.

Ben has such a tenderheart. Tuesday I got seriously ticked at Max I told him he couldn't go to Joe & Adam's party because of his behavior. Naturally Max started to wail. Ben said, "Let Max go, I'll stay home in his place." Uhhh...o.k., Jesus. Really, he will take the pain for anyone - no matter if what they've done to him. Maybe I am doing something right?

Randomness

Max made a dream catcher at pre-school yesterday. He is so proud of it - he keeps telling me the colors and that it catches all of his bad dreams. I hung it by his bed last night and he kept touching it and looking at it and here comes the good news...he stayed in his bed all night! YAY! Who knew that relief was a couple of feathers, a paper plate and some yarn away?

Yesterday Ian stayed home from work. He was deathly ill. It was fun for Max because they wrestled most of the day. I had to go to Target and when I came back Ian was outside with the kids (Evan was with me). I did a double take until I realized that he had his freaky contact lenses in that make him look like his eyes are pure black (thanks Jared). Apparently Ian, Alexander, Ben, Max & Michael were scaring Joe and Dallin - chasing them around acting like Ian was a wild beast. It's like having 5 boys, I swear.

My favorite part of the whole movie

Ian has been bugging me FOREVER to watch Across the Universe. My mom got it from Netflix for him, so we finally watched it. Like Melanie said, the beginning and end were really good - it was the trippy stuff in the middle I didn't like - although Ian tried to convince me of the artistic vision of the movie as a whole - I thought if they cut out the druggie fluff (sorry Bono - that means you) it would've made the movie a whole lot better. I now have a crush on Jim Sturgess. Watch out Jim - I am stalking you.

I am reading Inkheart. I love this book. They're making the movie and I can't wait! Paul Bettany is going to be Dustfinger - I am so excited about that. Kim lent me her copy of the book but I might have to buy it. It occurs to me that I have an adolescent's taste in literature. Oh well, my love of Jane Austen proves I'm somewhat of an adult...Right?

I checked out the Twilight website yesterday. They posted pictures of the movie cast...I'm feeling better about their choice for Edward but really, Carlisle looks creepy, not hot. Come on, Hollywood - Josh Duhamel would've been perfect. And Ellen Page is Bella to a T. Just an opinion.

Oh yeah - the final book to the Twilight series comes out August 2nd. Can't wait.

Happy Birthday Adam! 18. WOW! I can remember the day you were born....

Happy Birthday Joe! I hope you have a great day (which ofcourse you will because I got you a really cool present that I will be borrowing...)

Pinewood Derby

Last year was our first experience with Pinewood Derby as adults. I have many memories of it as a child (watching my brothers) and Ian does too. It just so happened that Ian had some time off in February last year and so it began...Ian is an artist. Perfectionist. He's so talented...yet never satisfied with what he does. Typical tempermental artist, I know. Anyway, for 3 weeks last February Ian worked periodically on Alexander's car. Every once in a while Alexander would render his opinion, Ian would consider it, then do the opposite (just kidding...sort of). Here was the end result:It came in third, which means Alexander barely missed going to Stake (which turned out to be a good thing since it was opening day for baseball that day).

This year Ian didn't have nearly as much time so he decided to only do Ben's car. Which was Optimus Prime. I kid you not. I think he might've let Ben sand one piece which he didn't end up using. Alexander started to do his own car and then Ian got frustrated watching him (to Ian's credit Alexander was totally hamming it up - acting like he couldn't do anything because he wanted Ian to do it) and ended up doing most of it, although Alexander came up with the design.

So we had no dining room table for a week as it was covered in saw dust and wood. After Ian was done touching up the paint on Optimus he asked, "Do you think they'll know Ben didn't do this?"

Ben ended up coming in 4th (although everyone was stopping to "ooohhh" and "awww"). Alexander came in 3rd again - due to much controversy. He should've came in 2nd. Oh, well...Alexander and Ian are already discussing plans for next year.

P.S. My dad took custody of his camera so we are back to blurry pictures until I get visitation again.

Birthday Loot

This book was the brain child of Ian. Kim and Tricia took the pictures and Tricia spent countless hours editing and creating the book. You'll have to come over and look at it - it makes me cry everytime.

music & chocolate - is there anything better?

Movie, movie tickets, more candy and a Coach purse (thank you Tiffany!)! I love it. I almost don't want to use it because I love it so much :)

Ian did a great job this year making Valentines Day and my birthday special. Too bad for him - I'm going to expect this treatment from now on!

Defense Mode

I hate the "one post per day" unwritten rule in the blogging world. Because anyone who knows me knows I always have something to say. Max, Evan and I went to Sam's Club for lunch today. Mostly because I didn't feel like making lunch and we all can eat there for $3.70. Yeah, I know the amount I've been there so much. Anyhow, Max is being particularly cooperative today. He looks at me and says, "I'm going to share my cinnamon-sugar pretzel with you and Evan". This my friends, is MAJOR. He never wants to share his pretzel and I never get two pretzels because then I would end up eating one whole pretzel and I like to get my carbs elsewhere (chocolate, chocolate, chocolate).

The conversation goes like this:

"I got in two fights at school today."

Calmly I say, "What happened?"

"Well, one kid pinched my nose so I pinched his nose and then Norman (I've heard LOTS about Norman - the kid's a brute - literally - he weighs atleast 50 lbs and is a head taller than the other kids) kicked me so I punched him."

I'm wondering what really happened. And why the teacher didn't talk to me about it. She's going to get an earful on Monday (not really - I'll just meekly asked her what happened).

"What did the teacher do?"

Max says matter-of-factly, "Tanner (the nose pincher) and Norman got in trouble - but not me."

"Why didn't you get in trouble?"

"I was in defense mode."