Parenting is hard.  My sister once told me that it's so much harder when they are teenagers then when they are young.  At the time I had three young boys so it was unfathomable that it would get any harder.  But it does.  It has.

Something happened today that has left me reeling.  Wondering if I have made the right choices and done my best where this child is concerned.  It's magnified to me that each of my children are so different and I can't parent all of them the same.  I wish I were stronger.  A better example.  A better person.  I wish I didn't make so many mistakes. 

I've always told my boys that I am human and will make mistakes.  And that I will always own up to my mistakes.  I hope that this boy can learn that too.  Even though sometimes it's so hard and so painful to admit it when you've done wrong.  I love Xander so much.  He is a great boy in so many ways but he is a work in progress. 

He isn't perfect.  No one is.  As I struggle with what decisions to make and what to do I am so thankful for my Savior.  For the perfect example he is to me.  I'm thankful that we've been reading our scriptures as a family.  Even though I am heartbroken...I am thankful.