It's ok

Today my sister and I went to visit our grandmother.  She had a birthday this past week and we wanted to see her, give her hugs and just hang for a while.  As we talked about cooking my grandmother started reminiscing when she was a young mother with eight (8!) kids, how she sewed and cooked everything.  She was up at 5 am and went to bed at 12 am.  As a child I looked forward to my birthday and Christmas gifts from my grandma. Usually I received homemade ballgowns for my barbies and one year I received a dress for me and an exact replica of my dress for my barbie.  A girl's dream come true.

I can sew a button but I can't sew.  I don't like to cook, I'd much rather bake.  Sometimes I get up at 5 but am usually conked out by 10 (to Ian's dismay).  I struggle with depression, with anxiety and with just feeling like I'm enough.  Because frankly, sometimes I'm not.  And I've learned that that's ok.

It's ok if I feed my kids have cold cereal for dinner.  It's ok if I lose my temper (although I am working on my patience) and it's ok if I'm not every thing to everyone.

These past few years I feel like I am discovering me.  I am learning to say what I mean.  Not to make commitments I can't keep.  I'm learning that sometimes it's ok to take a break.  

It's ok.