Shotgun!

 No matter where we go, if Ian's not with us the boys always fight over the front seat.

 The used to take turns, but recently things have turned violent.

Life with boys is fun.

First Day

 I got pictures of everyone except Xander on the first day.  Xander doesn't like me to take his picture, but I assure you, he looked quite handsome. 

 My heart breaks a little when I look at this picture of Evan. 

 Jonah!  He only stayed at BBS for a few weeks, but Max was so excited not only to have him in his class but to be sitting next to him :)

The boys all had a great first day - I'm so excited for a great school year for all of them!

Friends

I just wanted to post this picture and say how much I love these two crazy kids. 

That's all.

It's ok

Today my sister and I went to visit our grandmother.  She had a birthday this past week and we wanted to see her, give her hugs and just hang for a while.  As we talked about cooking my grandmother started reminiscing when she was a young mother with eight (8!) kids, how she sewed and cooked everything.  She was up at 5 am and went to bed at 12 am.  As a child I looked forward to my birthday and Christmas gifts from my grandma. Usually I received homemade ballgowns for my barbies and one year I received a dress for me and an exact replica of my dress for my barbie.  A girl's dream come true.

I can sew a button but I can't sew.  I don't like to cook, I'd much rather bake.  Sometimes I get up at 5 but am usually conked out by 10 (to Ian's dismay).  I struggle with depression, with anxiety and with just feeling like I'm enough.  Because frankly, sometimes I'm not.  And I've learned that that's ok.

It's ok if I feed my kids have cold cereal for dinner.  It's ok if I lose my temper (although I am working on my patience) and it's ok if I'm not every thing to everyone.

These past few years I feel like I am discovering me.  I am learning to say what I mean.  Not to make commitments I can't keep.  I'm learning that sometimes it's ok to take a break.  

It's ok.

A few days before

 school started back up, Ian and I took the boys to Hamilton pool.  Evan loves to swim and especially loves the water slide and diving boards.  He has no fear!

 The pool was relatively empty and the boys had a fun time horsing around. 

 I love it when they all get along.

 After we got home, Aunt Kimmy and Joe came over to play Clue.  Max quickly became addicted. 

We had a mellow but fun summer, and I was truly sad to see my kids go back to school.  I love my boys.

Sometimes

 prayers are answered in very real ways.  I was so stressed about Ben starting jr high.  He'd be going to a school with over 1000 kids.  Where he basically knew nobody.  Ben was nervous all week on the days leading up to the day when we would get his schedule. 

Miracles do happen.  When we got there, Ben and his friend Ian were in every class together but one.  Seriously awesome.  And a very real miracle.  I'm so thankful.

So far, this year has proved a great one for Ben.  He has developed a love of reading (hello Harry Potter) and made the football team.  His outlook is always positive and he actually likes school.  He hardly ever complains and is always quick to help out.  I sure do love that boy.

Monkey

 Back to school shopping with the boys wasn't fun.  Just so you know.  We stopped at Kohls for socks and underwear and Xander found this sock monkey.

 He begged me for it but I refused to buy it.  I was spending hundreds of dollars getting 4 boys ready for school, no way was I buying a stuffed animal.  Well, if you know Xander, you know he is very resourceful.  He talked Ben into buying it for him.

I must say it does love it.  He still plays with it and pulls pranks with it.  Such a silly boy.

Happy to be Alive by Alex Trezise

As we rolled over the hill in the large truck, our faces were met with the warming glow of the eastern sun.  The tires dragged through the gravel down the path.  We submerged into the trees and shrubs only to find ourselves at the bottom of the worn path.  My eyes were met by the cold flowing water of the river, while sounds of frogs and cicadas filled my ears.  I exited the vehicle only to be greeted by fleeing birds and the peaceful quietness of a hidden river.  My grandpa exited the truck and unloaded its contents.  Food, water, knives and rods were placed in my neon yellow backpack. 

First light was a spiritual time, no one said a word as we set off though the woods.  The rustling of leaves and sticks stayed with us for about an hour until we entered the flat.  The trees were thinning as we entered the yellow grassland.  Deer left from the cover of the tall grass and more birds fled at our sight.  We hiked game trails until we reached the end of the flat.  A large tree was a perfect place to rest and store our things.  After a short while we set off back into the forest down a hill until we reached the river.  It's glassy surface and rolling black waves fell and crashed onto the sandy banks.  First light was gone, we had arrived.

I, with a rod in hand, ran to the banks edge and began hurling my fishing lure to the opposite bank, where I slowly retrieved my line.  My line fell to cold water and the bite of the fish as I walked a long the bank.  We fished the banks for hours and hours, catching many fish.  The river was a spiritual place, such power and such strength only to be tamed by the earth and the trees.  

I had stopped fishing when the sun was at its peak.  It was then when I watched the birds, the deer and the fish drink from the rivers beauty.  I was happy to be there, but it didn't have to be spoken.  It was one of those things in which no words can describe it.  Perfect weather was greeted by the perfect place.  After a few hours of sitting, eating and talking with friends on the bank, we set back for the truck.

A cool breeze and the ice of the river chilled our exhausted bodies as we hiked back to the truck.  Physically I was nearly passed out, but the thought and experience of being there with my grandfather and my friends gave me strength.  It is one of those memories that someone never forgets.  As we reached the truck, we set off for home.  No one will ever experience the same things I felt and saw that day.

Later that year my grandfather got very sick and withered.  He was in and out of hospitals and when you would talk to him he wasn't the same.  He had lost that life and youth I saw that day.  That greatest day of my life.  My grandpa never said, "I love you" to me, but we both knew he did.  It's one of those unspoken things that you just know, you don't have to say it, like the rivers beauty and the happiness of life.  These things are true, just like the friendship me and my grandfather still have.

Xander got a 100% on this personal narrative essay he wrote for his English class.  I'm one proud mama :)