Tales From The BROWN Side

...and yes U.P.S. is as bad as that title sounds

Dear U.P.S.,

I am writing this Love letter to give much thanks for ALWAYS being there for me.

Thank you for infiltrating my imagination as well as the moments I am awake. Hey, but good news everyone, a new Chinese restaurant has opened up on my route...

oh wait did i mention it's in my dreams.

I was told to wait about an hour before the manager could sign for their product.

!!!AWESOME!!! I've got all day...er,night... uh, whatever.
Glad I'm such a courteous and hard worker in my dreams. Why the heck I don't just ditch the truck or blow it up I have know idea. Every time I have the delivery guy dream I still do my job well... it's so annoying!

Oh yeah, meanwhile back in reality my brain decided to wake me up at 8:10a.m.

- so now I'm going to be late to my real U.P.S. job! Hey, hope you liked delivering all night and here's another route for you. Just in case you didn't feel the heat too much in your dream.

Once again thank you for making both sides of consciousness so rewarding. I'm glad you can be there for me 24 hours a day(kind of like a bad toothache)

The countdown for escaping the evil clutches of BROWN is at 13 years, 10 months and 18 days until retirement..but who's counting.

Forever your(insert bad word here)

Love ya, Ian.